Happy Mardi gras!!

wishing all a very happy and safe Mardi Gras

very creepy

fabulous friday's tasty morsels....

goin on a bear hunt....














and this was just too cute to pass up...is everyone familiar with bearforce1



for those of you not yet familiar with bearforce1 - take a look - hilarious!!

training

just had two days of training...learning about legal and drug resources... met a lot of great people and had some laughs which i think is important for a training forum.

coasting along nicely at the moment

took one of the little fuzzy people who live with me to the vet last night and was relieved to discover there was noting more serious going on with him than the ongoing drama of the increased population of fleas that have appeared in sydney this summer and finding ways to combat the little suckers...relieved to know i've been on the right track so more of the same was prescribed

on a bit of a come down after the high which was last weekend but have a couple of birthday engagements this weekend which i'm looking forward to..can't believe it's the middle of the week already.

what a great weekend was had

well back at work for the week and still quietly exhausted from all my running around and celebrating on the weekend.

went to a performance by Lou Bennett "Show us ya Tiddas" at Carriage Works. what a fantastic night!! amazing performance and she had me crying with both joy and sadness throughout - if you get a chance i can't recommend her more

i loved tiddas and i never had the opportunity to see them perform live so this was a special treat to be able to see one of my favourite performers so up close and personal.

after the show went to Club Kooky at Herman's bar. great night. caught up with lots of people i hadn't seen in a while. good music, good company and was even chosen as a special valentine for the night.

so after getting home at 3.30am i was up not so bright and early to head out for Fair Day. Helped out, kinda, Sandy at his Beastly Indulgence - massage for small animals - booth, and had so much fun!!

Firehorse came and met up with us at the park and i got to rove arround the madness and the sea of people with him which was a lot of fun.


caught up with a lot of people including my ex and his new boy, and one beautiful trash bag all the way from london here on a vist - was great to have us all together again!!

last but by no means least have to send out a special thanks to the beautiful stranger who gave me a lovely kiss and a great big ego boost. Flirtation really is great fun!!

restraint

feeling more than a little fuzzy at the moment. trying to keep the facial hair for mardi gras but beginning to feel more like a lumber jack. have this fantasy in my head about having the pointed goatie for the horny little devil look i'm going for on the night. not sure if i'm going to make it...

just survived being back at work for a week..phew.. good to be back have missed hanging out with some of my colleagues and have had many laughs.

hanging out on king street today and the party atmosphere has commenced. this time of year when people are becoming more visible and others are arriving and the whole energy of the place feels as though it is gearing up for mardi gras is one of my favourite times in sydney. the vibe of the place is electric.. lovin it!!

off to kooky tonight time for some play!! and then fair day tomorrow.. should be a good day, looking forward to getting out there and mingling.

It's about time

Very historic day which is way overdue. Doesn't solve everything but actually saying sorry is a start in the right direction.

holidays

been back at work for three days now and it feels like i never left. it's amazing how much stuff can accumulate while away from work and now there is so much that 'needs to be done now'!!! i've been inundated with new work plus ongoing maintenance to catch up with.

my holiday feels like so long ago...sigh

companionship

so i worked it out. probably stated it before and probably has been staring me in the face but i think what i am finding hardest to adjust to since the break-up is the loss of companionship. for twelve and a half years i had a constant companion i could laugh with, argue with, challenge and be challenged by.

the simple act of sharing your day, events that occured to you or witnessed by you. things that meant nothing and things that meant more. Just the simple act of having someone you could talk to. that's what i'm missing most.

the simplicity of knowing you could get a hug if you wanted or needed it. the simple act of touch, touch which is not necessarily sexual. if it's sex i want that's easy to come by. the intimacy of sharing yourself with someone; totally different and not so easy to come by.

gratitude: navel gazing

been getting a little down of late, so i decided to do a list of things i am grateful for to shift me head from the negativity that all this rain has lead me on.

i am greatful for:

my relative free will and my ability to choose

for my family both bio and chosen

my ability to feel physical and emotioanl pain

my ability to distract myself when the feeling is too strong

my ability to recognize when the distraction is becoming problematic

connection

understanding

the furry little beings i live with who give nothing but love

there are more but i won't go on, i think this is a good representation...

holidays continue

at the start of week three of my holidays. been pretty busy, recovering from my tassie experience, catching up with friends, seeing movies and generally eating too much cafe food - never thought i'd say that.

have re-organized my house but found out this week that my rent is going up so now i might have to get a flatmate to share the expense. would love to continue to live by myself for a while but that may be just a little too extravagant. don't know what i'm going to do - options - move/ get flatmate/ stay where i am by myself for a while and let my emotions settle a bit and not make any rash decisions just yet.

my ex has got a new boy. he told me when i got back from tassie. wasn't surprised but was a little hurt. i'm tired today and i think it's all the nervous energy i've been expending for the last couple of weeks finally coming to a head. I'm glad my ex is moving on with his life because it means i can do the same. was feeling a little guilty about playing with other boys, even though i have no reason too, and that was doing my head in. now that my suspicions have been confirmed i feel like i can let go of him and us even more.

think i've been doing a little bit of running both in my head and physically trying to avoid some of the hurt and pain but yesterday i gave in to it and started doing more art. haven't done a painting in a while and i've come up with some ideas i'm really pleased with. a little art and narrative therapy, i'm finding, is good for me right now, so today i'm going to paint out some of these emotions i've been feeling.

caught up with two blogger friends this week - they know who they are and i hope they know how much their support has helped me in the last few weeks. was great to see them and just hang out.

gotta tell ya i'm missing the computer this week, feeling the loss of some of my connection with the outside world..