friends

had a fantastic weekend. spent lots of time in the garden, which had begun to take on the appearance of a jungle, very overgrown and full of spiders who kept taking up residence in my clothing on the washing line - i was able to tame it to something more akin to a garden and transfer the spiders to more approptiate locals (they were not to happy about this but i would rather move them than kill them, just can't abide killing anything) very satisfying.

caught up with Sandy on saturday and Firehorse on sunday. Was great to catch up with both of them, especially because by the end of last week i was beginning to feel a little lonely. i love spending time alone but since the breakup i've been spending too much time alone even for me.

i started to reconnect with my close friends, organizing to catch up this week before i go away. i've been feeling weird about getting together with them because they have an emotional investment with both myself and my ex and i didn't want to put them in the middle of our break up but in doing so i'm doing myself a disservice by not seeing them. something Sandy said on saturday made me realize that and that i need to reconnect with them as an individual not part of a couple. which i think was part of my difficulty, would they treat me differently because it is now just me? of course the answer is yes how can they not, in the same way that i am now different.

catching up with my ex on tuesday, going to see his new place. have some reservations about that but i think it's more of how to renegotiate our friendship - which i think is the great thing about the beginning of our relationship, we took the time to become friends before we became lovers and the foundation of that friendship for me has not gone. in starting our new seperate lives we won't see each other as much as we did obviously but our group is quite strong and of course we will see each other as a part of that group and as far as i'm concerned it may feel akward for a while but not impossible to overcome.

have the day off work today and i'm planning to reconnect with friends and relax. heading off to tassie on saturday and i can't wait.